In The Family Way...

Bernice Hintz (ZK-CJE)

In the beginning there is the desire. Some of us desire petite and graceful girls (Europa), some of us desire a good hard working girls (185s) and some of us desire unique and unusual girls with attitude (Murphy rebels). Some people even share their girls (ménages a trois). Budget and genetics are usually what decides the outcome of the hunt. Some people will search the world for what their hearts desire and some people will settle for the girl next hangar/door (DDK). Whatever the chase is always the most exhilarating time and when we will blindly spend money without a care.

Then there comes the conception. Always fun, sometimes a surprise. Happens everywhere but usually in the cover of dark, close to a pub and again with unrealised amounts of money being committed to. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the partner of the reality of the situation. I have heard of a man agonising for three weeks on how to tell his wife about what he has done, only to find she wants a piece of the action.

Gestation is a long period of discovery. The early days can involve a bit of throwing up until the body gets used to the different environment. Partners may argue usually over large cockpit plus sized pieces of coloured paper. There can sometimes be strange cravings that people will travel large distances to satisfied. Karamea for Whitebait, Invercargill for oysters, Dunedin for Emersons. This is a time of discovery, a time of expanding of ones knowledge and diplomatic skills.

The birth a challenging time. The coming into the real world. The passing through very narrow gaps with a lot of screaming and swearing. Some partners choose to close their eyes or faint at this point. Dingle is a classic place of being born. An airstrip that needs a lot of respect and a midwife to glide the way. Dingle is Pristine, stunningly beautiful and not a place you’d go unless you’ve done your time (gestation), not for the inexperienced. There is always the option of having Julius fly you in, straight in by fling wing. (Caesarean). Afterwards you can stay for a bit and relax. ($15 and a sleeping bag).

Now reality hits, the sleepless nights, the worrying if you’re doing it right and just in case you thought you were your mother-in-law/CFI will set you straight. The bringing up years seem to last forever as do the bills. If you’re not very careful you can find yourself repeating the exercise from the start and you will need a bigger hangar. A few of our members must enjoy this first phase because they seem to be very good at it and buying ever bigger aeroplanes.

About this time the socialising happens. Mothers will form support networks and the children all get to go to play group. (fly-ins). At these gatherings there is a lot of chatter, eating and drinking. The girls will play dress up and the boys will go back to there roots and climb trees, though these lines of demarcation are less defined now days. Basically it is about showing off. Sometimes there are accidents, heads need to be bandaged and tears wiped away before bedtime.

As children get older they venture further a field. They play in other peoples sandpits and learn to share their toys. It can be fascinating and a source of intense jealously when children find out what their friends have in their toybox. Tantrums are common when sharing doesn’t occur or the child demands to have the same toys. Kokonga is such a toybox. Peace can be maintained with bribery. Usually lollies are a good distraction and I have to congratulate David for his circumvention of a potential ugly situation with a large bag of the sponsors lollies. I was also pleased to see everybody sharing their toys in the form of sharing rides. I was elated to get to play in DIH again, Thank-you Tom you are a good boy.

When children get into their teenage years they have a very select group of friends usually not of their parents choosing. This is when they have to be watched closely but from a distance. Teenagers know everything so there is no use trying to teach them anything more. You can but sit back and hope you have taught them enough sense not to kill themselves or go down the family way path too soon. Food and drink looms large in their horizon and they can often be influenced in this way. Too much drink can create mischief and modified behaviour. It was observed that a certain 185 toy was transformed. Luckily nobody was hurt in the process.

Eventually they come of age, they mature. Don’t think you are scot-free though. They are still around for dinner or a loan. Loans now of course being huge in relation to their desires. A girlfriend to impress, a car, a career as a commercial pilot or if you’re really unlucky to buy an aeroplane. Hence the next generation of aviators are born, the cycle repeats. You’ll know if you have brought them up properly because they’ll have manners enough to invite you to go flying with them when you get too old (50) and nasty people take your licence off you for knowing too much.

Thanks team I thoroughly enjoyed the play group at Omarama this year. The Saturday fly around as always taught me new ways of doing what I thought I already knew and the way you share your toys does credit to your upbringing. Those of you who are concerned about the theme of this piece needn’t start knitting me booties, one precocious Bolkow is more than enough for me to handle and afford.

PS: Alistair I’d like to remind you of the agreement we made in the bar. I’ll let you come and play with mine if you let me play with yours. Besides it’s in your best interests because I am younger than you and you’re in danger of knowing too much.